Procrastination-
1.)The act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.
2.)What I have done for the past 10 years.
I have a problem. I have wonderful ideas. Ideas for comic books, movie scripts, pitches for tv shows, comedy routines. However, I have no faith in myself to actually complete any of these ideas past 1 or 2 pages. I am so conviced I will fail that I just drop the project completly. I have the reasoning that if I try and fail then the dream is gone. But if I don't even attampt it I can keep it alive that much longer. I know, I'm sick.
I call it the "Citizen Kane Theory". You see, for years I had never seen Citizen Kane. It got to the point that I was explicitly avoiding watching it because it was known as the greatest piece of cinema created and I didn't want to ruin that idea. A few years ago I caved and watched it. To my horror, I hated it. I found it boring and highly overrated. I re-watched it 3-5 times that week and tried to enjoy it. But, every viewing ended the same way, me wishing I hadn't watched it.
I have one script in particular that I have been mulling over for 2 years. I have shared the idea with some people who feel it would be a huge hit and can't beleive I haven't persued it. They just don't understand. This is MY Citizen Kane. If I put my all into it and it bombed I can't imagine how I could go on. Dramatic I know, but I am a theater brat.
But now, I am enrolled in a writing comic books class that requires me to actually write something or fail the class. I am excited and terrified all at once. I am hoping that I get through this with some sense of accomplishment so I can move forward with some projects and get some much needed closure.
In December, when my comic is graded, I will post the results here.
Hi Joshua, I totally understand. I'm working on my first novel and all I hear in my mind is "It will never get published, so why bother?"
ReplyDeleteWhat I've decided is that if the only thing that comes of writing it is my own personal pleasure and learning the process, then it will be worth the effort.
If it gets published, then hip-flippin-hurrah! But the best thing will be that I actually did it, something that most who want to be writers never ever accomplish.
I hope you get your script published, but if you don't ask yourself if it was enough just to write it for yourself.
I also believe in the saying, "If you don't try, you'll never know."
So, how did you comic book go?!?!
ReplyDeleteAnd, even if that movie is your Citizen Kane, at least you will have done it. There should be major satisfaction in knowing you've done something, and that you've given it your all.
It went good. But it didn't go how I wanted, but that is of course my fault as I ended up slacking off. Thanks for asking.
ReplyDelete